Honored Heroes

SARAH

   

My story begins in the summer of 2021. It was my first summer living away from home in State College, Pennsylvania, and I was interning at Massachusetts General Hospital. After experiencing hip pain for many months, I decided to schedule an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon here in Boston. After an initial consultation, there was a general consensus that I may have a torn labrum, so it was recommended that I get an MRI. When the report came back, it seemed that my hip was fine, but after reading the report in its entirety, I saw in the fine print that there was abnormal bone marrow signaling detected. Because no one had brought this to my attention, I decided to ask a nurse. She said that abnormal bone marrow signaling is common in patients with anemia, and that I should have my primary care do blood work at the end of the summer. At that point, it was early July.

Fast forward to mid-August. I had an appointment with my PCP, and my mom went with me. The doctor took one look at me and said I didn’t need blood work, because I was young and healthy, so nothing would be wrong with me. My mom, who is an oncology patient navigator, insisted that I get my blood drawn. This would become one of the most pivotal moments in my life thus far. After a couple rounds of low blood counts and being told it was just a virus, I moved in for my junior year at Colgate University. The plan was to monitor the counts and wait for the steroid I was prescribed to “fix me.” On the first day of classes, a Thursday, I had more testing, and not only were my neutrophils diminished, but my platelet count was next to nothing, and I was covered in bruises. I called my mom and asked her to get me in for a bone marrow biopsy. The nurses at home told me to wait a week to let the steroid kick in – I told my mom I was getting in the car to come home regardless. She got me in for a biopsy the following morning, a Friday. After having a bone marrow biopsy with only topical numbing cream and no pain medication, I was told that I would be good to go back to school the next day. Again, my mom, my guardian angel, asked if I could have one more round of blood work the following day before I went back to school.

That next day, a Saturday, I received a call from the doctor, following up on that morning’s lab results. For the first time, my blood was filled with blasts, and I was beginning to show signs of severe clotting. They told me they weren’t sure what kind of cancer it was exactly, but that I needed to go to Pittsburgh immediately. That drive is something I will never forget. While the ER doctor wanted me to go by ambulance, I insisted that I be with one of my parents. My dad and I drove in silence, except for when I told him “I’m scared I won’t even get the chance to fight.” My dad responded, with tears welling in his eyes, “You can’t say that to me right now,” and the silence filled the air again. August 28th, was the day that I found out I had acute promyelocytic leukemia (APL), and entered West Penn Hospital for my 4.5 week inpatient stay. Thankfully, I made it just in time. I later learned that I likely would have died if I had waited just one more day. Over the course of 9 months, I received Arsenic trioxide infusions and all trans retinoic acid oral treatments. I withdrew from school during my Junior fall, and somehow convinced Colgate to let me take classes remotely in the spring during my 4 weeks of treatment, and go in person on my four off weeks. I did indeed zoom into my Cancer Biology class while I was being treated for cancer. I feel like I should have gotten extra credit for that…

Throughout my journey with blood cancer, The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society was there, sending me pill organizers, blankets for chemo, and offering endless literature and resources for my parents. It is my own personal experience with the LLS that has driven my desire to volunteer. Through volunteering, I have met other young adults who have had cancer, and we are collaborating with lovely people like Laura here, to find ways to make an impact on current patients. I’d like to especially thank Laura for going out of her way to connect me to a LLS young adult survivorship group based out of DC. I have never experienced an organization with such a commitment to improving the daily lives of cancer patients. Through events like Light the Night, which I was able to participate in this year in both Pittsburgh and Boston, my family has been fortunate enough to fundraise and give back to an organization that gave us so much. I am honored to be here and to be able to address and thank you all for what you do for people like me.

Fast forward to today. I graduated on time from Colgate in May of this year with a degree in Molecular Biology. I took the MCAT over the summer, and am applying to medical schools in the upcoming application cycle. In the meantime, I am working as a research assistant at Beth Israel in the Groopman Lab, ironically trying to purify a protein that plays a role in some blood malignancies.

I have so much to be grateful for. Through various fundraising efforts at Colgate, I was able to donate over $13,000 back to the hospital floor I was on, which I allocated for new exercise equipment. Additionally, I was able to fund a new bell at Mount Nittany medical center (where I completed outpatient treatment) for patients to ring at the end of their treatment. I want to wrap up by going through some of the things that go through my mind when I reflect on my journey. I am so grateful to feel all of the feelings that come with a cancer diagnosis and the feeling of loneliness that follows. I’m grateful to have spent December 27, 2021, my 21st birthday, in the hospital for chemo, because it is a privilege to see another year. I’m grateful to feel scared, because I know how precious my life is. I’m grateful to have bad days, because there was a time I was wishing for more days, no matter how bad. I am grateful that my parents and sister didn’t have to go through losing their daughter and sibling, and that we have an unbreakable bond through all of this. I am grateful that my boyfriend John, who I had been dating for only 8 months at the time I was diagnosed, stuck by my side and got me through my worst days. I am grateful to feel grief for the cancer friends I’ve made and the many who have died. My mom likes to think they were selfless enough to sacrifice some of their strength to share it with me amidst their own battles, even though they probably needed it more. I can easily say that cancer was the hardest “job” I’ve ever had, but if it means I get a lifetime with the people I love so deeply, I would take the job a million times over.

Steven Colbert talks about how he deals with grief, saying, “I love the thing that I most wish had not happened.” While I wish I didn’t have to be exposed to the world of cancer, I gained so much more than I lost. Thank you.